I am a little bat. I do not suck your blood, and I definitely don't want to get stuck in your hair - that's just gross. If I should accidentally fly into your house, please don't hit me with cricket bats and brooms. It really hurts, and I am so scared. It was an accident; I didn't mean to scare you. I am just as scared as you are. I am fighting for my life, and you are just scared; it is not a fair fight.
Should I land on the floor, I can't get up again; I will need your help. Just use a towel and take me outside. I promise, I will fly away immediately. I eat mosquitoes and a lot of other pests that can harm your garden. Our homes are being torn down for more buildings, and we have limited places to go. So, if I do accidentally fly into yours, switch off your light and leave the outside light on with the door open. I promise, I will be out in a flash.
Kind regards,
Your tiny, little, harmless bat.